Slow down helps to discover new sensations, remaining in contact with its emotions. However, such an understanding of sex is not characteristic of our culture, where desire and pleasure are associated with impulses and excitement. How to slow down during sex and at the same time not lose intensity?
Sexologist Diana Richardson teaches Slow Sex (“slow sex”) for more than 20 years and is sure that each of us can give a word to his body. “Try to slow down and fully attend every moment of a sexual act, instead of focusing on an orgasm, depriving yourself of the opportunity to feel subtle shades throughout sexual communication,” she advises.
“Sexual leisurely allows you to awaken all feelings,” says the sexologist Yuri Prokopenko, “she opens the doors for emotions and eliminates the need to show the result, which is especially important for men”.
In addition, the conclusion is the sexologist Alain Eril, and this also applies to the problem of premature ejaculation and the return of attraction to a couple of experience: “It is no coincidence that the pioneers of modern sexology William Masters and Virginia Johnson developed Sensate Focus – the method of slow and conscious research of the body, which turns it into sensoryLaboratory “.
1. Change roles
One belief in the benefits of slowness is not enough to effortlessly realize it. In our culture, and therefore in our mind, time should bring the result, including the time spent on sex. Hence the need to go directly to your goal, that is, to orgasm.
Slow sex is something opposite: pleasure in the path itself, when caresses and views cause accompanying sensations
Head and body become one. Our experts note that such a change in the pace allows the partner to provide the role of a full -fledged participant in the process, and not just the instrument for achieving pleasure.
It is important to keep in mind: Many men are sure that they are responsible for the pleasure of a partner. The proposed redistribution of roles allows everyone to give and receive and thereby reduce the threat of disappointment.
2. Realize yourself
Slow down allows you to better realize yourself and your partner, but also under the gaze of a partner. It is not so simple, especially for those who suffer from complexes.
“Sofrological striptease” helps to get rid of tension when we
imagine that we take off some complex or anxiety with each clothing item. Studied completely, we find ourselves released and affordable.
Those who are engaged in this practice radically change their lives, because they are ready to follow their body again.
It is important to keep in mind: When we are focused on sensations and explore new impressions, we discover ourselves again, and also realize that it is we ourselves limit our sexuality and sensuality. During sex, the body needs only one thing: so that we turn off our heads and allow him to manage the situation!
3. Create the situation
For slow sex, the sensory environment is important. And smells, and colors, and textures help make sensations with a central element of intimate relationships. A bath and massage also acquire an erotic nature. We seem to give ourselves and each other honors. It is no coincidence that the body is considered in the tantra as a temple.
It is important to keep in mind: The external situation in which the date takes place really contributes to slowness in sex, since it has the concern of all five feelings, which is unattainable in a hurry.
4. Try different faces of sexuality
Nevertheless, you should not turn leisurely into a new norm and the holy graal of sexual relations. More impulsive, more animal relations also make up part of human sexuality. Sexuality is also fed by healthy aggression, which should not disappear at all.
It is important to keep in mind: Each couple is free to try different facets of sexuality. Free to enjoy at your pace, according to your desires and moods. Without mandatory achievement of the result. Finally!
5. Surprise each other
Arrangement of a place, conscious preparation for the meeting – all these are already parts of a love ritual. And the best way to not succumb to stress is to imagine this ritual as a sensual and emotional experience. If this experience flows into sexual and erotic interaction, good;If it remains sensual and emotional, this is also good.
Make each other a massage, caress each other, talk, explore new erogenous zones … All these are parts of slow sex. The goal is actually to diversify bodily pleasures and surprise yourself and each other.
It is important to keep in mind: Our brain does not like surprises. Slow down in order to invent new sensations leads him out of balance, and it just leads to unknown excitement and activates the desire.
Personal experience
Alexandra and Semyon have been living together seven years, they have a four -year -old daughter. After reading the book by Diana Richardson “Slow Sex”, they wanted to make love consciously.
Alexandra, 36 years old
“We were embarrassed, as if the decision to make everything slowly did not give us the right to mistake. The embarrassment disappeared when I lay down on my back and Semyon began to do my massage, looking at me. There was a lot of sex and at the same time love. Then I got on him, and we tried what Diana Richardson calls the “change of position with the maintenance of the contact of sexual organs”. That is, when the pose is changed, the penetration was not interrupted. It was great, we did not want to break away from each other. Pleasure came as an explosion. After this experience, we began to touch each other differently. The whole body is an erogenous zone, and leisurely exacerbates the sensation. “.
Semyon, 43 years old
“That evening I was tense, as for the first time. When Sanya sat opposite me, I could caress her with my hands and eyes and saw that she was in the same state as me. It’s just amazing how slowing allows you to feel so much: skin temperature, sweat, warmth of breathing … I was engaged in love with my eyes, mouth, hands, skin and completely forgot about my penis, which lived my life. The moment of penetration was very natural, I was no longer worried. Everything was like a dance that we came up with a second in a second. The pleasure itself was more complete than usual. We told ourselves that we will regularly give ourselves slow sex “.